More jokes from Year 5 and some more animated gifs. (Don't forget to click on the picture to go to the animation.

Teacher: You were supposed to write five pages about milk, but you've only done one.
Student: It's condensed milk.

Teacher: Your essay about "cricket" looks rather short.
Student: Yes, sir. That's because rain stopped play.

Teacher: Who can give me a sentence using the word "politics"?
Student: My parrot swallowed a watch and now "polly ticks".

Teacher: Why are you resting your head on the piano?
Student: I'm playing by ear.

Teacher: What is a blood count?
Student: Dracula

Teacher: What do you call the small rivers that flow into the Nile?
Student: Juveniles.

Teacher: How can you tell which end of a worm is its head?
Student: Tickle its middle and see which end smiles.

Teacher: Why do tigers eat raw meat?
Student: Because they don't know how to cook.

Teacher: Today I want to tell you about the hippopotamus so please pay close attention. If you don't look at me, you will never know what a hippopotamus looks like.

(Now let's get our own back)

Student: If a person's brain stops working, will he die?
Teacher: Well, you're still alive aren't you?

Student: Sir, why do you call me "wonder boy"?
Teacher: Because I look at you and wonder.

Student: Miss, my pen's run out.
Teacher: Well you'd better chase after it then.

Why did the teacher put on the lights?
Because the class was so dim.

What do Maths teachers eat?
Square meals.

What kind of feet do Maths teachers have?
Square feet.